*pressing self destruct button - furiously* aaaaand goddammit!!! It's broken.

Jadi gue lupa untuk datang ke acara tunangan teman baik gue sendiri.
Gak butuh indikasi lagi, gue emang bukan teman yang baik.
I let people down, heck, I let myself down.

Undangan dikasih dua minggu lalu,
dan enggak ada bahasan apa apa lagi soal itu sama sekali.
Semalam gue terbangun jam lima pagi karena badan gue gatal gatal,
lalu saat gue berusaha tidur lagi, kepala gue terlanjur bekerja.
Gue melamun.
Sudah Senin lagi aja... dan... acara tunangan Ica itu Sabtu kapan ya.
Kemudian gue lihat kembali undangannya dan jantung gue mencelos.
How could... o god.
Turned out I'm the only of that's invited.
Selain keluarga ya maksudnya...
Ha.

All's good now, but.
I don't feel good.

Dan Nico... o well, I tried my best.
I really did. And I deserved a fucking pat on my back.
*pat* It's not me, it's not you, it's the circumstances.
Universe has a seriously fucked up sense of humor.
Kemarin itu saudara teman meninggal karena keselek pas makan steak.
Ya... It's kinda funny don't you think? No?
I love him sooo much it hurts.
He's scared. What can I do about it...
Sama kayak self doubts gue, datangnya dari dalam.
Gue mau ngapain juga gak bakal didengerin unless datangnya dari diri sendiri kan?
Mungkin gue gak bakal bisa selesai nulis soal ini, sudahlah.
I think I overstayed his welcome (?)
Yea yea.
What we had is bittersweet.
But no regrets.
No regrets.

If you find one day
FInd some freedom and relief
And with this freedom maybe
Maybe you will find some peace
And with this abby
I hope it brings you back to me, bring you home, take me home

If you won't let me fall for you
Then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you
Instead you will be missing me when I go
Cause I'm bored of hanging in your cold

Gak ada deh main hati lagi. Capek banget.
Always was... the only one who's trying,
you gotta meet me halfway goddammit.

No more distraction okay Cav?
You're a mess.
You're a fucking mess.
Bebenah diri sana.

Write down all of your dreams... on a piece of paper,
post it on the wall or something,
read it out loud so the universe will hear you.

"gue gak ngurusin urusan orang lain", who are you even kidding,
lo repot ngurusin orang buat menghindar dari masalah lo sendiri goblok.
Stop caring for god's sake.